Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes.
It is not something physical. — Sophia Loren
Just like what inspired my post on How to Start Building Self-Esteem, so is a recent conversation with a close friend. He talked about a girl he liked that was “so pretty”, but when he described her personality, I could only cringe. I told him that she may have outer beauty, but it seems like she has no inner beauty. We then got to discussing what inner beauty was, and before you know it, we were both out of words… it’s just undefinable!
I like to think there is more to beauty than just physical appearance, that’s why Beauty Fool also focuses on the other side of beauty – the inner aspect. I love makeup, hairstyles, skin recommendations as much as the next girl, but I think ultimately true beauty lies within. But what exactly is inner beauty? When we say someone is ‘beautiful’ don’t we almost always refer to the physical beauty we can see?
This is what I came up with before my mind hit a blank: Inner beauty is having compassion for others, helping others, being joyful, being a shoulder to cry on, respecting others, respecting yourself, listening, smiling, having kindness to animals, loving others and of course, loving yourself. Phew!
So I have to ask: What is inner beauty to you? :)
“Laughter is an instant vacation.” — Milton Berle
Last year I wrote a post, How to Start Building Self Esteem, after speaking to a young reader about her life and insecurities. Since then I’ve been speaking to tons of readers about their lives and an emerging theme I notice is that we could all use a big dose of self esteem and self confidence, because we all have low moments. I also feel that being a woman these days are especially hard – we have so much to do, so many priorities, and so little time for ourselves. Well, no more!
To end this month I thought we’d talk about laughter.
Laughter is so important in our lives, not only to keep us feeling lighter and happier, but can also reduce stress, improve our mood and make us feel happier and better about ourselves. (Read more of the benefits of laughter here.) Here are some ways I bring laughter into my own life, and I hope it can help you out with some ideas as well:
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Teen Vogue has a great article out about Australian supermodel Mirander Kerr, who has just finished writing a book on self esteem and health advice for young girls. I had no idea about this, but I think it’s awesome! I know some might think; what does she know about self-esteem … look at her! However, she might know what she’s talking about – she studied psychology, naturopathy and nutrition at school. And like I say over and over, doesn’t matter if you’re a young student, the president or a supermodel – everyone deals with self esteem issues.
Here’s an excerpt of the article:
“I love to read! I’ve come to consider some of my favorite books as trusted friends I can always depend on,” she says. Her love of the written word is exactly why she recently completed her latest project, a book called Treasure Yourself.
“Your teen years are when you create a foundation for the rest of your life, from habits to ideas of who you think you are and what you believe you are able to accomplish. A confident teen is more likely to set out to achieve what she dreams of simply because she thinks she can. I want to contribute to that.”
And her signature positive attitude has served this 26-year-old well, from her gig as a Victoria’s Secret Angel to her multiple magazine covers.
“One thing I tell girls who want to break in to the industry is that there’s no such thing as ‘looking’ like a model. There are so many different shapes and sizes, and everyone has things they want to change: freckles in odd places, dimples where they might not want them, and hair where it shouldn’t be. Just remember that picture-perfect doesn’t exist — perfection is you, just the way you are.“
What do you think? Would you take advice on a supermodel and buy this book? I’d love to read it, if anyone knows anything on release dates, do let me know! :)
Happy October! This month, I want everyone to forget the idea that you’re arrogant, self-centered or just plain narcissistic if there are certain qualities you love and like to celebrate about yourself. So, I want to ask you, what do you love about yourself?
Please do share! If you’re a blogger and want to do a post on your own blog about this, do leave a link in the comments too so we can all check it out! I also think keeping a list like this somewhere special will be a great pick-me-up on days when you’re not feeling too good and things are getting you down. Write as much as you can, and they can be as serious or silly as you want! I’ll start things off …
What I Love About Myself
- I love that I’m an only child.
- I love that I have more than a handful of friends that are the ‘fly-half-way-across-the-world-to-bail-you-out-of-jail’ type friends. Not that I’ve ever been in jail, though.
- I love that I have survived some very challenging times in my life and I am still smiling today.
- I love my height. Thanks, Dad.
- I love that I have standards and morals I live up to, and I’m even more happy that everyone around me seems to respect it.
- I love my handwriting! (All 8 of them.)
I look forward to reading your list, let’s celebrate ourselves! :)
From the time we were 13-16, my best friend C and I loved reading two top Australian teen magazines, Girlfriend and Dolly. C would buy Girlfriend, me Dolly, and then we’d hang out and read them, then swap! I always loved their stories, advice, pictures, and stance on moral issues, especially bullying and problems at school.
The other week I saw these magazines on the newsstand and I had to repurchase – I wondered what they were up to! And I’m happy to report that they are doing even better things.
Girlfriend (who is now printed on 100% recycled paper) has launched a self-respect campaign and started it off by banning celebrities from their pages who act as if they have no self-respect namely Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Dolly has also banned retouching in their beauty shots; so you will see girls in their natural state. Their celebrities pictures also tend to be red carpet pics, rather than photo-shoots that are photoshopped to death afterward!
I’m am so so happy about these two teen magazines and how they are using their influence to empower young girls and educate them about photoshopping, self-respect, and other issues teen girls face today. I definitely think girls are growing up way too fast these days and they need to be educated and empowered. I can only hope that my blog sends the same message.
Either way, screw magazines for my age! I’m going to relive my teen years. :-P (And seriously, how can you pass up a mag when RPattz is looking at you like that?!)
What are, or were some of your favorite teen magazines? I also really loved ELLEGirl and YM from the US. Sad to say they closed down a few years ago. :(
I have been speaking with a young girl for awhile who wrote to me about some of the struggles she’s faced with. It first started with makeup talk but moved on to how the happiness from applying makeup is only temporary, and feelings of being not as “beautiful” as the other girls in her class still plaque her.
This is a case of low self esteem, and trust me when I say this, J – we’ve all been there. Anyone who says they have never had any issues with self-esteem is lying to make themselves feel better, which; ironically enough, is a sign of low self esteem!
I thought this would be a good idea for a post. While I am no therapist, I do have an interest in psychology and have read up a lot on the various topics. Also, I named this post “How to start building self esteem” as opposed to “how to get self esteem” because it is not so easy! It takes years and years for low self esteem to develop, so it would take years to actually start building it. There is no quick fix, and you’ll need much more than this article! It’s a start, though, and I really hope I can help out.
What exactly is self-esteem?
So, what exactly is self esteem? Doing a quick “define: self-esteem” Google search, you will get definitions such as, “a feeling of pride in yourself”, “a feeling of self-worth, self-confidence, and self-respect”, or simply, “how one feels about themselves.”
Here’s my definition: A sense of personal worth. This involves two elements: security and significance. Security; in being loved and accepted for who you are, and significance; having meaning and purpose in your life.
Your inner critic
From all my readings on self-esteem, all the sources of low self esteem is your inner critic. The voice that tells you he doesn’t like you because you’re “fat and ugly, and not as beautiful as the other girls,” it tells you will never succeed in life because “you are lazy, unmotivated and have no qualifications.” Your inner critic could have been formed from being bullied at school, abuse growing up, negative remarks from family members – you name it. You store in the words that are used to taunt you, and they literally haunt you into adulthood.
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Is it really a partner’s right to comment in the first place? I bring up this topic because while I was away on the ship, I picked up a fashion magazine from the deck library to accompany me by the pool. It was mostly psychobabble, however, one article really stood out. It was a feature on makeovers, and chose 3 women to makeover, with each women having a short blurb as to why they wanted/needed a makeover.
From what I can remember, one was a makeup virgin and needed a beginner ‘look’, and the other wanted a more professional look for a job … something like that. The last girl, however, had a whole different reason:
I was so upset when I when I read this, I took a picture of it to write about it here! The magazine should be giving her therapy sessions, or recommend a good divorce lawyer, no?
What’s even more sad is this girl had a high position at a company at only 23 years old (hello!?!) but had such low self esteem from that husband of hers – who, by the way, I think should take a good look in the mirror himself!
Obviously no one knows the full story – but I wonder, what would you do in this situation? Has your significant other ever commented on your looks negatively? Do they have a right to that?
Hello and welcome! I'm Renee and I created this site to combine my love for writing, the web, and of course all things beautiful. ;) You can find out more 