Are You Having A Quarter-Life Crisis?

Earlier this year, I went through what I called a quarter-life crisis. For a few months, I felt really down and was lost on what I wanted to do with my life because I knew I was finishing university and turning 21 at the end of the year; two big milestones. To put it simply - I was in dire need of some direction on what to do, and worried about the future as an ‘adult’.

When I told my mom about this, she said the only thing I had was Drama-Queen syndrome. Thanks Mom! Nevertheless, whether you just have a restless feeling about what to do with yourself or are really feel depressed and worried about the future or changes you may face, quarter life crisis is very real.

Quarter-life crisis is just like a Mid-life crisis. Usually it is a period of time from when you get out of adolescence and face major changes in your life, usually in your early 20s or 30s. It may hit some harder than others, longer than others, and more scary than others, but almost everyone goes through it, whether you want to ‘diagnose’ it or not. Characteristics may include:

• loneliness
• nostalgic for university, college, high school or school life
• confusion of identity; ‘I don’t know who I am’.
• feeling ‘not good enough’ for a proper job, relationship, or further studies
• boredom of social interactions
• a feeling that everyone is doing better than you are in life
• insecurity of the future, life goals, plans

These emotional aspects normally occur once an individual has entered the ‘real world.’

Usually, one would say – this is just a phase. However, I don’t believe this is true. If it has been months and you still feel this way, you should be doing something productive to get rid of these feelings. Here are some suggestions;

1. Be Proactive.

Start figuring it out! Personally, I love writing lists and would highly recommend it! Everything is just so much clearer that way. Start writing lists about your life. Some suggestions:

• potential jobs that you would enjoy,
• characteristics you want to find in a spouse,
• hobbies/things that you enjoy and make you happy,
• your personal life goals,

2. Plan it out.

Next, write even more lists to get to each of those goals. For example, one of my potential (OK, the #1) job I wrote was to be a magazine writer. From there, I decided to do some internships to see if I actually like how magazines work (I do, just not as an intern!) and could see myself working there. Next plan for me? Sending out resumes, get more experience and internships, build up this blog so I can include it in my resume, etc, etc.

While I do think that everything happens for a reason and the whole ‘if it’s meant to be, it will be’ mantra, I do think having somewhat of a yearly plan each year is good. So, make a plan for the next year – personally and professionally. Your list could be as simple as:

1. Finish school.
2. Take a year off to travel. (This needs another list altogether too!)
3. Send out resumes while you’re traveling.
4. In the meantime, work countless small jobs while traveling and hopefully meeting more people and possible work connections.
5. Go to interviews.
6. Get a job!

3. Educate yourself.

Educate yourself on what you are going through. Knowledge is power! Some books on this topic include:

1. Quarterlife Crisis: The Unique Challenges of Life in Your Twenties
2. 20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman’s Guide to Balance and Direction
3. The Quarterlifer’s Companion : How to Get on the Right Career Path, Control Your Finances, and Find the Support Network You Need to Thrive

I have not read any of these books, so I cannot recommend them just yet; although they look promising. Look through reviews and read snippets at the bookstore and decide if it will be good for you.

4. Reach out and seek help.

Talk to family or friends about your worries – better yet, seek therapy or even hire a life coach if you really need to. It is always good to ask for outside help. Professionals and people who know you well, and care about you will know exactly how to help you.

And there we have it. Personally, I’m glad to announce I’m over my quarter-life crisis and that bout of uncertainty, thank goodness. Although it did take some time, I am glad to know I wasn’t going crazy or just becoming a Drama Queen – QLC is very real and I suspect it would be very normal during this age, where we are on the way to adulthood. But life is always a work in progress, so don’t be so hard on yourself! I hope you get there, and hope this post helped on some steps to rid you of these feelings.

Did you ever experience some sort of crisis when entering the ‘real world’? (Or, if you’re a little younger do you think you might?) I’d love to hear your stories. :)

Image: spaceodissey